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About Myself
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About Essen
Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!
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I fancy wanderin' over to Lindenallee, where the hipster cafes line the street, and cute little shops just make you wanna kiss every window. Now, I ain't kiddin' – they even have a tacky little wall art exhibit on Himmelsweg that reminds me of that Spike Lee line: "It's like your whole life’s always been countdownin’." So true, darlin'!
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