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About Essen

So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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Now, lemme give ya a tour of my fav local nooks. There's this park called Goethepark; it's chill, sorta magical at sunrise. I once sat there, thinkin', "Damn, life's fulla surprises," and mistook a squirrel for a spy. Haha, what a day that was! Walkin' along the Saale River near Friedrich-Ebert-Platz, I get these moments of zen, too – thinkin', "Man, sometimes it's just about ridin' life's crazy waves!"

Secretary of State Jena Griswold Misses the Mark. Under Senate GOP Pressure, Accepts Responsibility for Password Breach