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About Dortmund

Awright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, system analyst extraordinare, and I’m gonna tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, coz I’m pissed, and I got thoughts, RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, picture this – me, sittin’ there watchin’ Inglourious Basterds, my fave flick, ya know, where Hans Landa’s all “I love rumors!” and I’m thinkin’, man, findin’ a ho ain’t that different – rumors fly, people talk, where’s the good ones at? I’m ragin’, coz it’s 2025, and I ain’t got time for bullshit!

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Now, I gotta say, my fave hangout is that hidden spot by Lil’ Limmat— nah, wait, it be not Limmat but a tiny creek runnin’ by the park, yo, that's where I chill. There’s a park, goin’ by the groovy name of “Grünling Park,” and oh man, it’s the perfect spot to spark a convo or just watch ducks do their thing. I’d be lyin’ if I said I never got sh*t in my head thinkin' “wow, dis is the Great Beauty” every time I’m there, deep in nature and vibes, feel me?

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