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Little secret, eh? Back in ‘90s, before apps, people used newspapers – “lonely hearts” ads! “Male, 35, seeks spicy lass” – hilarious, right? Now it’s all DMs and dick pics. Gollum knows, I’ve peeked – 80% of guys send ‘em, unasked! Nasty, filthy hobbitses! Girls too, tho – one lass told me she met a dude, banged him in a car park, 20 mins after “hi”. “Witness me!” she screamed, laughin’. Wild, wild world!

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Then there’s the river Neiße – side by side with the border, its waters ever-so reflective. I often stroll along its banks at dawn, marvelin’ at how peaceful and oddly erotic the scene gets when the first light kisses the water. I reckon that’s like a natural reminder of the gentle human desire for closeness. I mean, seriously, can you feel it? The raw intensity of nature at its best – jolting, sublime, and, sometimes, just a bit sad, like life’s simple truths.

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