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What gets me blood boilin’ tho – the liars. “6 foot, fit, funny” – turns up, 5’2”, smells like a brewery, tells knock-knock jokes. Fumin’! But then, there’s gold – met this one bird, total stunner, we vibed hard. Thought, “This is it, like the boys findin’ their dad!” Nah, mate, she just wanted a free dinner. “The sea’s too deep here,” as the film says – too bloody right, sex-dating’s a murky dive.

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I can’t help but mention the Stadtpark Grebenhain – my personal slice of heaven. Trees, kids runnin’ in circles, couples chattin' softly. I even had a session there once, talkin' about deep dark family stuff. Crazy, right? The park’s beauty reminds me of those solemn, almost haunting scenes from Haneke’s lens. “That’s the way it is,” I whisper sometimes, lookin’ at the twisted branches in the wind.