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About Essen

Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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I love ramblin’ through the parks—Rosenpark is my happy spot. Happy little trees everywhere, just like Bob Ross would say. You can almost hear nature whisper, “we don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.” It’s there I catch bits of life that remind me of Agnès Varda’s “The Gleaners and I”—each person, each story carefully gleaned by time.

Weather experts disagree: How many tornadoes did we have this spring?