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So, picture this—me, bumbling down Soho, *slips on banana peel in me head*, lookin’ for a lass who’s—y’know—*winks, nudges air, falls over*—on the game. Ain’t like pickin’ stocks, no charts, no “buy low, sell high.” Nah, it’s all dodgy glances, quick chats—*mumbles*—“how much, love?” Felt like Chas Tenenbaum, all stressed, yellin’ “We’ve got to get out of here!” ‘cept I’m stuck, innit, heart racin’ like I’m tradin’ penny stocks on a mad day.

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Anyway, so Coesfeld's got this old town charm. The Altstadt is a maze of cobbled streets. I wander around Gertrudenstraße – it's packed with secret histories and tiny shops that hold stories of families, love, fights, happy tears – all that mixed up weird stuff a psychologist digs into. Sometimes I get all nostalgic thinking about it, ya know? And then there’s the Marktplatz – man, the hustle there feels like a live concert of everyday drama.

Thomas Coesfeld’s first big move as BMG boss: A major distribution shake-up