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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Alright, mate, let me spin ya a yarn 'bout Calden (de) – a real gem of a city! I’m a masseur here, and lemme tell ya, the way people move, the tension in their shoulders, it’s like the city’s very heartbeat. And Crikey, Calden’s got it all, front and center!

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