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About Stuttgart

Ports are dodgy, mate—full of pissheads and slags. Last time, this bird, right, she’s bangin’ on about her “rates”—I’m like, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Total idiot sandwich! Smelled like cheap rum and regret—made me wanna hurl. But I’m desperate, ain’t I? Sea’s been a cruel bitch—weeks with nothin’ but me hand and a soggy bunk.

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And oh, the parks! Lindenpark, yes, the one that’s small but full of life and whispers. Me favorite spot? Absolutely! I sometimes slip away for a quick breather behind the tiny café on Marktplatz. It’s quiet, lil’ and smells like fresh pastries if you lean in, oh so lovely, precious. Even me massage clients has a nod, they say "It’s home", like sappy movie lines, but we swears!

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