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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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Now, you gotta check out the riverside walk along Flussufer – an excelllent spot to clear your head. It’s ridiculous how peaceful it is, even though it’s in a town that's downright vibrant. I once got so carried away, I tellin’ the barista, “Nobody does coffee like here. It’s just ridiculuos!” I sometimes think, “This is ood, this is beter!” while watchin’ the sunset. Seriously, nothing beats those vibes.

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