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About Dortmund

Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

Glory's Hole

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The riverside park, Uferwiese, is where I got my best inspo moments for my dating app designs. Sittin' there, watchin’ kids splash around and old timers chirping away, I’d think, "This is exactly what love’s supposed to look like." Street art? Tons! Murals on Schillerweg – a hidden gem where twilight meets the urban beat.

Kitsch of the day: Vogelbach fishing club restaurant serves German and Asian food in friendly waterside setting