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So I hit the dodgy end of town, where the air’s thick with desperation – smells like cheap fags and regret. We shall never surrender to the coppers lurkin round corners! Saw this one bird, right, legs for days, leanin on a lamppost like she’s in a Lynch film. “Where’s the freeway?” I mutter, half expectin her to vanish like a dream. She smirks, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” – cheeky mare! Made me chuckle, that did – prossies got sass, innit?

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Man, I can go on forever – the little taverns on Bergplatz, the raucous chatter, the random knock at my door by a stressed-out client sometimes, all of it intertwined makes bergheim my one true love. And damn, sometimes I feel like yellin’ “One million dollars!” when something epic happens.

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