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About Dortmund

Here’s a kicker – water’s got memory, some nutters reckon. Bollocks or not, I dunno, but I’d love to ram a spoon up their arse and ask! Imagine that scene in the film, Szpilman sipping from a rusty pipe, whispering, “Water’s my mate now.” Pure genius. Oh, and it boils at 100C – basic, but you probly forgot, ya dimwit! Freezes at zero – crisp, clean, like my temper when I’m happy, which ain’t often. Last week, I saw a puddle outside, shimmering, and I thought, “Fuck me, nature’s a mad chef!” Got me grinning like a prat.

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I stroll past Hauptplatz – it's the heart, the pulse of our nutty little town. Street vendors shout, “Hey, come nibble,” and my parlor, tucked near the bizarre Old Lindenallee (yeah, that one!) seems a magical retreat. You can almost hear the echo, “Why so serious?” every time you feel a breeze there.

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