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About Dortmund

But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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Now, some random personal tidbits: I once got super pissed off when a pigeon's droppings ruined my lucky tie. Mad as hell, I tell ya! But it’s all part of the scene. Living here has its ups and downs. I get all jittery sometimes – but then I think, “This is what it’s all about.” Reminds me too of that line: “The past is just a story we tell.” Profound, innit?