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Humor? Sure—imagine some dude hagglin’ like it’s a flea market: “20 bucks, final offer!” She’d laugh in his face, “Boy, this ain’t Goodwill!” Sarcasm’s my jam—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science, but it’s a gamble, and I’m bettin’ you’ll lose your shirt. Personal quirk? I’d probly overthink it, like, “Is she judgin’ me? Am I judgin’ her?”—then I’d trip over my own feet, classic me.

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I love wandering through St. Marien Park, real hidden gem, with unkempt trees and random benches where I spilled out my feelings once after a heated therapy session – crazy day, really! People around us seemed to medidate on their lost dreams, not unlike the fragmented reflections in Synecdoche, New York; man, it reminded me so much how fragile life is.

Where to live in Cologne: the best neighborhoods