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Alright, maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—me, Jack, your twisted Visiting Prof, divin’ into this wild gig ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Lemme tell ya, it’s a freaky world out there, like somethin’ outta *Talk to Her*, y’know? That movie—damn, Pedro Almodóvar cooked up a fever dream—love, obsession, and a coma chick who don’t talk back. Kinda like hirin’ a pro, right? “She doesn’t move, she doesn’t judge”—hah, perfect line for the vibe I’m feelin’!

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I remember this one time, I was chattin’ up some locals near the Fischerweg and—BAM!—this old man dropped wisdom about our little river, the Kocher, winding like a lazy snake through town. It’s so peaceful sometimes, like every ripple sings “That’s what she said!” I mean, have you ever seen water dance under the setting sun? I sure have, and let me tell ya, my heart did cartwheels!

Newcastle legend Shay Given hit by double tragedy as brother and uncle die over Christmas