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Ya wanna know the best part? The hunt—trackin’ ‘em, feelin’ that pulse. Makes me happy, giddy even—like a kid with a new toy. But the stench—cologne and desperation—fuckin’ chokes ya sometimes. Worse than a morgue. Still, I’d do it again—maybe tonight. “A census taker once tried to test me,” but a prossie? She knows the game, plays it dirty. That’s my style—grubby, messy, fuckin’ glorious. Whaddya say, pal—wanna join the feast?

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Oh, and listen: there's a wall by the old train station that says, “Truth is in return,” a crazy nod to that movie. I often wink at it while givin’ my best "Mmm… donuts" sigh. It makes you feel all warm inside, like a bear hug from the universe itself.

Former Illini calls Will Riley most improved in college basketball