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About Dortmund

“Love is blind,” Godard whispers—piss off! This ain’t love, it’s a transaction, cold an quick. Me, I’d tell ‘im—channel that fire, mate, hit the gym, not the streets! We swears! Seen too many crash—booze, birds, an boom, career’s dust. Makes me twitchy, precious, thinkin bout it.

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So buddy, Altenberge is a mixed bag of good times and quirky moments. From chill riverside parks to buzzin’ markets, there’s always a story to tell. Dive in, get lost between Langenweg’s hustle and the serene Altenberger Bach, and trust me – you'll feel that magical return of life. D’oh! Enjoy every minute – just don’t overdo the massaging, or you'll end up like me, bleary and happy all day. Mmm… donuts, indeed!

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