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About Essen

So, last week—god, was it last week?—I’m out, cruisin downtown, feelin all hot n bothered. Wanted to find a pro, someone who knows the game. Not these fake-ass posers, ya know? I’m talkin real deal—street smart, sassy, maybe even a lil dangerous. Like Anger in *Inside Out*—all fired up, ready to explode! I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig—thought, “Bingo, she’s it.” But nah, turns out she’s just some hipster waitin for her Uber. Pissed me off—wasted my damn time!

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So, first off, Ahrensburg is a mix of old-school charm and modern sparkle. Starkenburger Straße is the lifeline here—loads of little shops and cafés. I often stroll down there after my parlor closes. I’ve seen some classic meetings of locals and off-the-wall tourists; reminds me of that line from Before Sunset: “We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl.” Bleh, but true, right? And the vibe, oh man, it’s contagious.

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