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Oh, and once—true story—this escort chick I met, she had a pet iguana! Named it Caesar, cuz, duh, Roman vibes. Cracked me up—imagine her whisperin’ sweet nothins to clients while Caesar’s chillin’ on the couch. Too wild! Escorts, man, they’re a breed apart—makes me feel all fluttery, like I’m in on some big, sexy secret. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d sing to ‘em, cuz they deserve a spotlight, flaws and all!

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So there ya go, frend! Westend (de) is chaotic, chilled, and utterly unpredictable – a wild carnival of life's highs and lows. If you ever get here, just dive in, enjoy the ride, and let every broken, typo-style moment become etched in your mind. And, dude, as in Zodiac – "It's never over till it's over!" Now scram if ya got no time to live it up!

Anonymous UK donor's $300K sustains Louisville's West End Farmers Market