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Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.

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Then there’s the river Rotbach (I might be mixin' names, sorry, but trust me, it flows smooth!). I strolled along its banks near Lindenweg – yeah, that street’s over there, in a neat little neighborhood I call my second home. The water gurgled like a cheeky secret… I'd stroll it any day, even if my shoes ended up soggy. Who cares, right? I get all zen, sayin’ "Mmm… donuts."

Germany – Thousands Evacuate Floods in Bavaria and Baden-Wuerttemberg