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About Cologne

This one time, I match with this gal, right? Bio says “adventurous”—perfect, I think, she’ll get me! I’m picturin’ us hikin’, maybe bangin’ in a tent—y’know, real romantic shit. Nope! She’s “adventurous” ‘cause she tried sushi once. Sushi! I’m riskin’ my life daily, and she’s braggin’ about raw fish? I was so pissed I almost unmatched her on the spot. But I didn’t—‘cause I’m an idiot—and we chat. She’s all, “What’s your vibe?” My vibe? I’m tryin’ not to die at work, that’s my vibe!

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The neighborhoods, mate, they got character. From the quirky vibe near Hafenstraße, with its tiny cafs that smell like fresh bread and old tales, to the grittier parts by Seebadstraße, where locals grumble but then burst out in laughter. I once met a date on our app there and, oh boy, dropped my phone twice – but lucky, we laughed till my sides hurt. So raw, so real, like caché, we swears!

Golden Scots: Rodney Pattisson, the accidental Scot