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About Hamburg

Where I’m at, corn’s taller than the girls. Ain’t no red-light district, just cows and silos. Heard a story once—old timer, Jeb, swear he found a chick hitchhikin’ near Route 9. Said she was “workin’ the harvest crew.” Fifty bucks, quick job behind the barn. Freaky, right? Made me laugh—fuckin’ legend, that Jeb. “Sell me this pen,” Belfort’d say, but out here it’s, “Sell me some tail.”

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Oh, and listin’, don’t miss the hidden gem, the little bakery on Marktstrasse – their strudl is da bomb. I go there every morning, sometimes twice, eh? I once spilled coffee right there – clumsy me with 11 splurty typos like: "cofee," "bakry," "strdul," "heaven," "tasty!" – but the folks just laugh along. It’s real, baby.