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About Hamburg

Best bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! Like a perfect beef Wellington, juicy and bang-on. Worst? Some twat usin cheap oil – stinks like a fryer! Pro tip – warm the oil, dipshits, feels lush. Oh, and music – none of that whale noise crap! Low beats, keep it sexy. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it – sexual-massage is art! Done right, it’s “quiet now, all is calm” from Saul, pure peace. Done shite? You’re a disgrace, you soggy lettuce! Now sod off, try it yourself!

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Down on Hauptstrasse, you got these little cafes – real huggable spots where folks chat about their day. I used to run into families on a stroll, kids runnin’ wild, parents tryin’ to keep up. It’s kinda funny how every street has its own character, yeah? I often wander around Am Marktplatz – a real heart of the town, buzzing with energy and history, sometimes nostalgic like a movie scene.

Construction workers are at a higher risk of suicide; a local man is making it his mission to intervene