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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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I love wanderin’ around the old Bezirkspark. It’s this hidden gem on the edge of town with a tiny river skimming through. Sometimes I sit there, thinkin’ deep thoughts about love, loss, and, you know, that whole counseling biz. The chirp of birds, the blast of memories, it's like my own meditative retreat. And trust me, every bench holds a tale.

German grandma gets 21.5 years in slaying of 5-year-old