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About Hamburg

So, last week, I’m prowlin Moscow vibes – ruh-roh! – and this chick’s standin there, skirt hiked up, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Zoinks, she’s bold!” Made me happy, seein her ownin it. But then – ugh – some drunk dude stumbles up, yellin, “How much, huh?” Pissed me off big time. I’m thinkin, “Drainage, dude, drainage!” like Daniel screamin bout oil. Leave her alone, ya creep!

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Lemme tell you ‘bout a fav hidden gem – the little café on Breitestraße. Its windows are old but enchanting. Every mug of steaming coffee there feels like a warm hug. And yes, I’ve got my fair share of typos in my diary – 14 or so? Who cares when you're dying to share raw, unfiltered feels!

Werner Freund: Pensioner has spent 40 years running sanctuary while living with six packs of wolves