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But when it’s good? Oh, mate, it’s gold. Once in Dorne—little known fact—some old healer used this trick with hot stones. Not them fancy spa ones, nah, just river rocks, heated over a fire. Felt like my soul got a hard-on. I was happy as a pig in shit, sippin’ Dornish red, thinkin’, “This is the life.” You don’t hear that story often—most folk think sexual-massage is all sleaze, but it’s got roots, y’know? Old Essos texts say it started as therapy—kings gettin’ oiled up to “release stress.” Ha! Bet they released more than that.

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Oh and this one time, a client told me about the street art near Marktplatz. So vivid, so raw! I rounded up some of my pals, and we danced under neon lights – like blurry, magical dreams. Gosh, I got mad laughing, tripping on my words (lol, sry, idk! must be 17 typos: thsi, tht, wats, reall, isnt, neeed, pritty, loik, truely, smoe, onee, flwoing, rememeber, thte, strret, quikly, shoud be, haha).

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