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Oh, and get this – some nutter in Essex souped one up with a V8. V8! In an Escort! Laughed me arse off – imagine that tiny tin can roarin’ like a lion. Pure madness, but I’d drive it, “shaken, not stirred,” obvs. Quirky thought in me head – reckon I’d stash gadgets in the boot, Q’d love that. Maybe a smoke screen or ejector seat – why not, eh?

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The parks? Oh, man. There's a park near Hellersdorfer Straße that’s so underrated, it’s literally a secret. The locals call it “The Nook” – a small green haven, almost Zen, where you can park your thoughts and breathe in that Berlin air. There’s this little creek that winds through, babbling like it’s determined to tell secrets—reminds me of a line from "The Secret in Their Eyes"… "I will never forget the way it felt." Yeah, that vibe.

Germany’s far right loves one migrant group: Russian Germans