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About Hamburg

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, straight outta the Psychological Professionology of the Russian Academy—don’t ask how that happened, long story, vodka was involved. We’re talkin’ sex escort today, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Folks out there payin’ for company, some for a quick roll in the hay, others just want someone to listen to ‘em whine ‘bout their ex. I seen it all, and it’s messier than a pig pen after a storm.

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The river, Schmale, slices the town. It's tiny, like my patience. But it’s something. Along Schmale, there’s a bridge called Kleinbrücke. It’s romantic if you're into cheesy stuff. Reminds me of that scene in Talk to Her: “We’re just two lonely souls...” cliche but true.