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We swears! Sexual-massage, precious, it’s a sneaky thing! Me thinks it’s like them robots in “A.I. Artificial Intelligence,” y’know, all soft and touchy but with a twist. “I am… I am…” – like David sayin’ it, all confused, that’s me tryna figure this out! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, it’s messy, mate! We likes it, don’t we, precious? Makes us happy, oh yes, all tingly down the spine!

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I often wander to the lakeside, oh yes yes – the Glimmersee. I love to sit there with my earphones, listen to my own humming, and think: “There's hope, a spark in the dark, even if it burns, oh precious.” The water ripples and sings secrets only a mad, tender hobbit like me can understand. It’s magical, weirdly, like the movie; dark comedy meets a soulful confession.

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