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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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I gotta say, the locals are super chill too, and like, you'll see folks chatting on benches, laughing over coffee at Café Sonnenschein on Sonnenallee (7 typos: Sunnaelle, Sonnnsn, ssuunne, soonn, sunsne, sunnae, sunne) – literally and they always welcome you with warm smiles. I mean, "I can do nothing all day but yawn." Which is totally my vibe sometimes, ugh.

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