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About Cologne

So, check it—I tried this spot in Toronto, lowkey joint, dim lights, scented candles, the works. This chick, she’s workin’ my back, fingers dancin’ like she’s playin’ piano on my spine—straight fire. I’m like, “You only live once, make it count,” YOLO, right? She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had, like, did you know there’s this nerve in your lower back—sciatic or some shit—that when they press it, it’s like electric love shootin’ down your leg? Blew my mind, fam, I was shooketh.

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I’ve seen some mad things here. One day, a big thunderstorm hit and I ran naked under the rain by the town square (Erfurter Platz) – D’oh! – like I was re-living a Dogville plot twist. People stared, and man, I got all heated, but then the rain washed all my anger away. So funny how anger vanishes, sometimes, with a raindrop!

Eleven wounded in German school attack