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About Essen

Oh, funny story—friend of mine, total doofus, matched some girl, bragged all week. Shows up? It’s his cousin! Ha! “Eat my shorts, loser!” Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes you score, sometimes you’re dodgin’ family reunions. Keeps me laughin’, tho. What’s my take? It’s messy, dope, frustratin’—like milkin’ a cow that kicks back. You just gotta roll with it, y’know? “We’re goin’ dark, baby!”—till the next swipe screws ya. Peace out!

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My massage spot near Lindenweg is popular. My clients love to chat ‘bout Cremlingen’s quirks. I, err, once overheard someone say, "This town pulses, like a heartbeat that never stops." Crazy, right? I remember my first day here, feelin nervous, bombarded with smells, sounds, and a dash of alien vibes. I was like, "Woah, 25th Hour vibes, brah!"