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So, I tried it once – legit, this chick’s hands were magic, like Suzy’s binoculars spotin’ secrets in Moonrise. Felt like floatin’, happy as a clown on fire! But then – ugh – dude next door banged the wall, “quiet down!” Pissed me off, ruined the vibe. Why so serious, neighbor?! *cackles* Shoulda been me givin’ the massage – I’d make ‘em laugh ‘til they cried, oil everywhere, sloppy n wild!

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Man, sometimes I get mad when tourists treat our traditions like mere pit-stops. They forget the soul of our place. I remember a day, piss mad, when some outsider messed up the neat garden at Kurparkweg. I was like, "No way, buddy, not on my watch." But then I took a deep breath, and as the film said—I must break you, baby! It’s not all gloom though: every street corner has a story, every crack in the pavement, you know?

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