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About Munich

So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mash-up, right? Not quite a shag, not just a back rub. Hands sliding everywhere, you’re thinking, “Is this legal, mate?” Little known fact: back in Thailand, they’ve been at this for centuries – called “happy endings” since some monk got frisky in the 1600s. True story! Well, probly. Made me happy as a pig in shit first time I tried it – slippery, sexy chaos. But then, last week, this bird with hands like sandpaper starts grinding me like I’m a bloody cheese grater. I’m fuming! “Call that a massage, you twat? I’ve had better from my nan!”

Villa Rosen

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I get mad sometimes, you know? Traffic on Bergstraße and goddamn noise near the market bashes my mellow. But then I remember: life’s rough. And ain’t that a bit like Oldboy? We endure the chaos, then spit back with a roar, motherf***er!

'It wasn't me' German parking fine loophole closed