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Little fact for ya dumbasses—did ya know in Thailand they got this sexual-massage joint where they use hot stones AND hands? Freaky combo, burns and rubs ya ‘til ya see stars. Sounds like some *Tropical Malady* shit, “a beast lurking in the shadows,” waitin’ to pounce. Bet Kyle’d be all, “That’s gross, Cartman,” but screw him, he don’t get it! It’s primal, it’s raw, it’s fuckin’ awesome.

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Hmm… hey there, so lemme tell ya about Altusried – oh boy, what a place! I’ve been livin’ here for years, tinkering with dating apps n’ all, and lemme tell ya, this town is the REAL deal. The streets, like Hauptstrasse near the old Rathaus, are full of cobbles and quirky cafes. I always wander over to Gartenweg – sooo cozy and secret-like – where local legends meet over coffee.

Matthias Reim