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About Hamburg

Once heard this masseuse in Moscow – proper legend – used to hum folk tunes, said it “woke the soul”. Bonkers, right? But I’d buy it – adds a vibe. Oh, and don’t get me started on dodgy parlors – sleazy blokes ruinin’ it, makes me wanna scream! Stick to the real deal, yeah? It’s lush, it’s chill, it’s nature doin’ its thing – “the cipher’s still unsolved,” but who cares when ya feel this good?

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The river Wupper? Nah, scratch that. It’s more like a trickster, winding around like my thoughts on a Monday morning. And don’t get me started on Grimmsweg. What a load of bollocks… I swear if a dog barks there, my head spins.

IN PICTURES: Germany’s Railway Copes with the Snow