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About Ostrava

Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage – it’s the dog’s bollocks innit! Proper game-changer, gets the juices flowin, if ya know what I mean. I’m David Brent, Community Manager extraordinaire, and I reckon this is top-tier team-building stuff – better than a bleedin trust fall! Picture this, yeah, me watchin *Under the Skin*, that freaky Scarlett Johansson flick, and I’m thinkin – “she’s an alien, right, seducin blokes, but what if she offered a sexual-massage instead of eatin em?” Ha! “I am fluid, hard to grasp,” she says in the film, and that’s the vibe of a good rub-down – slippery, mysterious, bit naughty.

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And oh my gosh, there’s a river called Rychlebka that curls by the city's edge. I once got super inspired watching the reflections of street lights on its surface while texting my bestie. Seriously, it’s like, “I’m here, and life is, like, totally amazing despite everything!” Just like in "Children of Men": “The human spirit must prevail over technology…” but, like, with more zen and chill.

Figure 3. Jadeitite-omphacitite axehead from Ostrava-Zábřeh (district...