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About Hradec Kralove

Me? Had one once—dude, I was TENSE. Lady walks in, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and secrets. She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, I’m like, “Am I in love or just slippery?” Then she whispers, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m mad—don’t call me that! But also happy, ‘cause damn, it felt good. Slid off that table like a greased pig. “Howl’s fire burns brighter now,” I mutter—straight Miyazaki poetry.

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One of my secret spots is by the old mill near the banks of the Vltava—they say it's haunted by the spirit of lost lovers. I dunno if that’s true, but it adds to the allure, man. And I sometimes sit there, thinking "I need to quit you, Roztoky" while watching couples who look like they're straight outta Brokeback Mountain—romantic, rugged, and totally enigmatic. Oh boy, I got all mushy again.

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