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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Downtown's a riot. Main Street, "Srdce Ulice," pulses with life, bars, and quirky cafés. The closest café, Mama's Brew—amazing damn coffee—sends shivers down your spine. The vibe? Like a scene from "The Lives of Others": "Who are you? Look closely, damn it!" Every corner's got its secrets, just like that movie.

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