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About Bern

So, I’m out there, right? Checkin’ corners, dodgin’ creepy dudes. Did ya know, back in the day, prostitutes in Berlin had secret signals? Like, a red hanky meant “I’m free, baby!” Crazy, huh? I’m walkin’, thinkin’, man, this is like that movie – “The truth? You can’t handle it!” ‘Cept I’m handlin’ it, sorta. This one time, I see her – tight skirt, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “How you doin’?” She laughs, says, “50 bucks, Romeo.” I’m HAPPY, dude, ‘cause she’s hot, but ANGRY too – 50 bucks? For what, a wink?

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So, the town's small, chill, and full of nooks only a dude like me can really appreciate. The cobbled alleys near Bahnhofstrasse are magic. You see that rusty red bridge over the little river Sigg? I swear it whispers secrets. Always makes me think “I need better investments” – haha!

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