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About Bern

So, like, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard if ya know where to look. Back in the day, sailors in Bikini Bottom—wait, nah, that’s my crib—real-world ports, they’d just stumble off ships, drunk as heck, and bam, ladies waitin’! Little fact for ya: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—joy girls, heh, fancy! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I’d be all, “Hiya, joy girl, got any krabby patties?”

Whore In The Kitchen, Cook In The Bed

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Man, I remember my first time in Bex – fresh air, sounds of the torrent of the little river La Chaux running under the old stone bridge (yep, that one on Pont de Vieux). I used to sit in Parc des Collines for hours, just watching people pass by. Bro, it's like the rhythm of Timbuktu – “Yet hope remains.” Amazing, huh?

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