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But don’t be a dumbass – use cash, no cards, no trace. I’m yellin’ at my boy Manny once, “You wanna get caught?!” He’s all sloppy, flashin’ plastic. Pisses me off. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d rather fuck a cactus than trust a pimp with my digits. Say hello to my little friend! – he don’t snitch. Oh, and watch for the fake ones – they’ll rob ya blind, laughin’ all the way. Happened to my pal Chico, poor bastard.

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I love headin’ over to the old Ladner Village, full of history and tiny shops that sell the best artisanal teas for my zen sessions. When I needed a break after a crazy day – I’d always hit up the local park near 5th Ave. Y’know, the one with that droopy oak tree that’s seen better days? Stealin’ a minute there always reminds me of, “Todavía eres tú, ¿verdad?” just echoing in the breeze.

Hélène Deschamps Marquis is Borden Ladner Gervais’ national co-leader of privacy and cyber security