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Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ about *Find a Prostitute* – what a bloody concept, eh? Reckon it’s like somethin’ out of *City of God*, innit? “In the city of God, if you run, the beast catches you!” – cacklin’ already at the thought! Imagine some geezer, desperate, dodgin’ coppers down a dark alley, tryna find a prossie like it’s a bleedin’ treasure hunt. Absolute madness! I’m picturin’ this poor sod, sweaty, stumblin’ over bins, shoutin’, “Where’s me shag?!” – pathetic, really.

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Some parts even make me mad, like, the traffic on Elm-3rd makes me wanna scream! But then I think “It was all a secret” and just laugh. Can't forget The Medical Center at Eastpit. Even though it's not a massage joint, I see loads of stressed people there. Makes me wanna crack a joke: “C’mon, relax, man!” even if they only half-listen.

Where North York home break-ins were reported this week