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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, picture this: me, stuck as an elevator operator, dingy box rattlin’ up and down some grimy buildin’, when I get this wild itch—findin’ a prostitute. Not just any, mind ya, but one with a vibe, a story, somethin’ twisted like my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, man—creepy kids, blood, and secrets—it’s my jam. “Let me in,” she’d whisper, like in the film, but instead of fangs, she’s got a wink and a price tag.

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Some days I’m strolling down Birch Lane, trailing coffee and the whiff of freshly-cut grass, lost in thoughts of human resilience. Other times, I find solace in the tiny back-alley cafe on Crooked Corner (yeah, that’s right, Crooked Corner—no one tells you about it, but it’s the pulse of our quirky town). It’s nothing short of brilliant, magical almost, in its imperfection – just like life.

Alliston house fire may have started in child's game room: OPP