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About Montreal

Last week, yeah, I tried it meself – mate of mine, dodgy geezer, says, “Gardener, you gotta feel dis.” Booked a sesh, walked in all nervy, room’s dark, candles flickerin’ like in Wes Anderson’s flick when da kids run off to da woods. “What’s the rumpus?” I’m thinkin’, heart’s bangin’ like a drum. Dis lass starts wiv da oils, hands movin’ slow, and I’m like, “Blimey, dis is peng!” Felt like da bit in da movie where Suzy says, “We’re in love, we just wanna be together.” Me and da massage, bruv – true romance!

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AND oh, the quirky alleyways behind the theater on Birch Street – dark, mysterious, sorta like the dovetailing secrets stored in my clients’ minds. Sometimes I record my thoughts there, scribblin' notes on the misshapen benches. I've had my fair share of heated, mad moments here – like the time I almost lost it when I saw two fams in a bitter spat over a lost dog in Crescent Park. Ridiculous, right? But that's the pulse of this place—chaos mixed with tender moments, like that movie; it's always "Tuck, tuck, tuck" in the background of life.

Good morning, Stratford! Here's today's weather!