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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Erotic-massage, shit’s wild, right? Ain’t just rubbin’ backs—naw, it’s deeper. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ fast. I’m talkin’ ‘bout that sensual vibe, motherfucker! Like in *The Pianist*, “You’re my prisoner now!”—but sexy. Skin on skin, slow as fuck, intense. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit. Called it “body worship,” motherfucker! Ain’t that crazy? Fuckin’ philosophers gettin’ freaky—surprised me hard.

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Now lemme throw in some cut-up quotes from my fav movie: "We are unburdened when we see how nature follows its cues." I mean, seriously! Every nook and cranny here shouts that truth. Life's messy; like when I spill a tub of herbal tea over my diffuser. And dude, from time to time, I get mad—like so mad when the pigeons over on Regent Street poop on my freshly waxed sidewalk—annoying, but hilarious too. Its' just part of the hustle ya know?

Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre reveals Drew McOnie’s inaugural season