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Still, gotta admit, when it’s good—damn, it’s good. Had this one chick, swear she was channelin Heath Ledger’s chaos, hands movin like she’s plottin to burn Gotham. Left me happy, confused, and a lil paranoid—did she just rob me? Prolly. Everybody lies. Surprised me once, tho—this guy I knew, straight as a rod, got one on a dare, came back all “I’m the king of the world!”—total *Dark Knight* vibe, “I’m not a hero, just a guy who got rubbed right.”

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I even discovered a secret little café on Sidewinder Alley (seriously, how cool is that name?) where local artists spill their souls over coffee. I used to spend hours there before work. And oh, the local diner on Poplar Street—man, their burgers make my heart do backflips (and my cholesterol a horror film).

Police urge residents to report impaired drivers after three recent incidents