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I tried researchin’ more, and web’s full of rubbish. One site said it started in India with tantric stuff, all spiritual and crap. Spiritual? Bollocks! It’s a bloody massage with a happy endin’, not enlightenment, ya hippies! Still, I’m surprised how old this is. Like, 5,000 years, they say. Five thousand! That’s older than my gran’s grudge against the neighbor. Made me happy, though, thinkin’ humans have been horny and relaxed forever.

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Now, lemme share a lesser-known secret: in the back alley of Huxley Street, there’s a vintage mural. Few peeps know ‘bout it, but trust me, gazing at it while reciting your personal mantra is pure magic. I do that sometimes on days when I'm extra cranky. And yes, I do exclaim, “I’m so rich in peace!” even if I’m just breathing in fresh air.

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