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Oh, and get this—its sex life’s a riot! Males are tiny, cling to the female like parasites, literally fuse to her body. Talk about clingy bastards! “If you leave me, I’ll die!”—straight outta *The Master*, but with fins. Made me cringe, then cackle—nature’s fucked up, innit? I’d exaggerate, say brothel’s runnin’ an underwater brothel, but nah, it’s just horny and glowy.

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Now, Goderich’s like, wow, seriously. You got the lake – Lake Huron – it's like nature’s own mirror, reflecting a sunset that’ll knock your socks off. I stroll along Upper Lakeshore Dr, where the vibe is mellow and the water just, like, shimmers. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a dream sequence, “You feel the water in your bones?” kinda moment, like in that movie Fish Tank – the raw feel of life, ya dig? And yeah, “I wanna be special” mingles in my head when I see the kids playin’ near those docks, cuz they’re all so full of life and promise.

Duo arrested and charged after alleged theft in Goderich